Showing posts with label School Life. Show all posts

I handed in my last assignment and sat for my last exam for the year today.

Ahhhh...

What bliss.

I'm rejoicing over here that I have officially finished my first semester at CUHK. I never thought that I would actually live to see this day, and even when I first moved back to HK 6 months ago, there was a small part of me that was just waiting for me to 'screw it all up' and I was watching the whole time to see when I would fail again. But the amazing thing is that His grace is so upon me!

2 years ago, I left Australia in a complete disgrace. I, the straight A student, flunked out of university because of a drinking problem and I spent the last 2 years getting my life back together with God. I had no friends, my family were strangers to me and I hated myself. But greater is His love than anything I could ever have done to try and destroy myself! The life He has given back to me is infinitely more beautiful and amazing than the life I had before I went down my path of destruction.

Indeed all things have been made new and the old HAS passed away! Hallelujah!

THIS is the King that I serve, love and worship. He is the One who gave everything that I lost back to me and blessed me beyond measure. I still look at my life sometimes and am just so overwhelmed by the joy and peace and most of all, love, that surrounds me.

I have the most amazing relationship with my family now, the most awesome friends in the world that I consider my family, I'm living alone in a foreign country and not just surviving but loving it and I've just finished my first semester at uni. Could life get anymore incredible than this?!?! I have no other words to express my complete and utter gratitude towards Jesus, whose death made all this possible.

Thank You, Jesus, that when You were in the Garden of Gethsemene, You saw that I would have need of Your sacrifice. Thank You for saving me.

It's now 6:37 in the morning, and I haven't slept all night.

Welcome to my life as a student.

I'm now 2000 words into my assignment and still have another 500 to go and after that, I have the delightful job of trekking 2 1/2 hours to the New Territories to hand in my assignments. It's funny...you'd think I'd be annoyed and frustrated, but strangely, I find this all so amusing.

Then again, that could be because apparently lack of sleep makes you behave in a similar fashion to when you're drunk.

Or maybe it could be the numerous cups of coffee I've drunk.

All I know is, after writing about musicals and Disney movies all night, I feel like dancing and singing my lungs out.

Life is good.

Ahhh...more coffee...*wanders off*

I had the most amazing day!!!

After talking to Josh yesterday, I realised that I really was going to be miserable if I went through the next 3 years at CUHK without any friends, so I went home and said, "Papa, I know You're enough, but I really want some friends, so would You please connect me with some people?"

So today I'm on my way to class and I'm changing trains at Admiralty, and instead of walking straight across to the next train, for some reason I walk diagonally across so that I'm 3 carriages away from where I normally go. And as I walk onto the train and turn around, I catch sight of this guy Bryan from my Psychology classes! He walks onto the same carriage and we end up chatting all the way to uni. It was so awesome to see how God just directs all my steps and lines up all these divine encounters.

I was a bit apprehensive about going to my Anthropology class today. I went to the Anthropology tutorial on Monday and I was the only Christian in class who was willing to talk about her faith (we were discussing religion and the meaning of life) and I was put on the spot by the professor. He didn't really like the answers I was giving, so finally he said, "If you believe in Jesus and we don't, does that mean we're all going to hell?" And you know what? I was shaking as I said it, but I had to say, "I know how it sounds, but yes, if I believe in Jesus, and I do, then that's what I have to believe too." And of course, he was like, "Well, God help us, because we're all going to hell apart from you." Everything inside me was trembling even as I was walking out the class because I don't really like being the only one standing for something!

I knew that my next Anthropology class was today, so immediately I got people to start praying and of course that's pretty much all I did these last two days. So I get to class today, and the most amazing thing happens.

Firstly, the professor doesn't see me at all until the end of the lesson even though I was sitting right in plain view and at one point even right next to him. Secondly, when he was picking on the Christians, he turned to the medical students and was like,

Professor: So Karen, you're a medical student. Do you think those Christians are foolish?
Karen: Actually...I'm a Christian too.
Professor: Okay, well Bryan! You're a rationalist...you're a medical student too. Do you think they're foolish?
Bryan: Umm...actually, I'm also a Christian.

Oh, it was so perfect!!! I was gleefully chuckling in my seat.

At the end of the lesson, I hung around and there was this one girl who wanted to know more about God, so I ended up sharing with her my testimony and talking to her about Jesus and how awesome He is!!!

The real icing on the cake though was when this random Christian girl in my class ran up to me at the end of the class and hugged me! I didn't even know her before she hugged me! We ended up chatting and exchanged numbers because we seem to have heaps in common.

Oh, how good is God???
I can barely contain my joy!

I think I'm losing my mind.

I'm STILL writing my paper for Psychology, except now I'm laughing hysterically every 20 seconds because I'm reading it out loud in an Australian accent, and then an Indian accent, and then a Chinese accent. Did I mention that I'm doing this in my bedroom...alone??? Surely this is a bit weird even for me?

It's been a long time since I've had to write something 'academic'...more than 2 years to be precise! And it certainly shows...there's been so many times while writing this paper where I find myself typing, "And so I give glory to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ," and then go, "Ooops...that's not gonna work," all said in a nice Indian accent with the head bobbing thing too, of course. I tried to end my conclusion with, "In Jesus' name, Amen," but obviously that's really not gonna work either. How do people normally end their academic papers? "The End" ??? "And they all lived happily ever after" ???

I know there must be something intelligent somewhere.

I just can't seem to find where it's hiding.

This is so exciting!!!

After blogging my struggles in my last post, I went back to crying out to the Lord and telling Him that I was surrendering to Him. Surrendering my reputation, surrendering my studies, surrendering every right I have, that I might be used by Him no matter where I am to bring light. And you know what?

My precious Jesus started speaking to me and giving me the outline for my paper and He even gave me the opening sentence! So awesome! This is the God we serve. A God who is so intimately and personally involved in every area of our lives!

I love how Jesus phrased so many of the things He wanted me to talk about. He is so amazingly and fabulously humble and encouraging. Not once did He put down Psychology, but He kept affirming the good things that Psychology has contributed to society and then added on His truth afterwards. He is so positive and never condemning! He is so beautiful. *sigh* I am so in love.

I love it. I could not have a better Teacher :D

I have 2 papers due for Psychology next week, and it's now Day 4, and I still have nothing written. It's an understatement to say that I am struggling.

My university takes a very scientific approach to Psychology - everything is evidence-based rather than theoretical, and there is black and there is white. There are no greys. Unfortunately, for the 2 papers that I have to write (the first 2 that I've had to write since uni started a month ago!), there is absolutely no way that I could write it without mentioning God and my faith. I cannot deny Him or lie that I embrace Psychology 100% because I don't. I believe that Psychology does have some truth, but that only Jesus is the way, and the truth, and the life. The problem is, I am in the minority and I know exactly how I'm going to sound when I write my paper.

Yes, I know that I'm not going to write with the attitude of, "You're wrong and I'm right." Believe me, I know how to be tactful and sensitive. But it doesn't matter how politely and gently you say things, or even if you just touch on it, the second you say the word, 'God', minds close up and people label you as a 'religious nut'.

I firmly believe with all my heart that only God can bring true healing because only He is the source of love and everything good. I was in therapy for 3 years and on medication too, and I thank God for using all those counsellors and Psychologists to help me to survive until I was ready for Him to meet me, deliver me and heal me. However, Psychology only gave me coping methods and strategies.

And that is why I can't write my paper on ethics without mentioning Jesus, that is why I can't write my other paper on my career plans to become a Psychologist because honestly, I don't believe in Psychology, I believe in prayer and the power of my God. And this is why I'm home on a Saturday and not at 180 fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters, because I am desperately praying and crying out to God that He would put to death every part of my heart that still lives for the approval of this world. Every part of me that is still unwilling to be foolish and ridiculous for His sake.

That I would be given that fire of love to not even deny Him in the smallest and most insignificant things because it hurts Him, it hurts Him, it hurts Him. Denying Him isn't even saying, 'He's not real', denying Him is not mentioning Him when I should or putting Him to one side and saying, 'You belong in the 'spiritual things' and not in my university life.' BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE. It's not true. He is my life and even at uni, He is my constant companion and lover when no one sits or talks to the kid who doesn't speak Cantonese. He is always with me and I will not hurt the One I love by ignoring Him in the papers I have to write, because these are reflection papers asking us what we think and not research papers where I can just plonk down quotes and references from other people.

If anyone's ever had to write a paper for college where it was unavoidable to talk about their faith, please email me!!! And for the rest of you, please pray. God knows I need it!

Well, my first week isn't completely over yet (I still have class tomorrow) but I figured I'd blog about it tonight. It's been an exhausting and extremely stretching week, what with not being able to speak Chinese (I'm going to Chinese University...do you see the problem?), and not even being able to find my classrooms on the map, oh and don't forget the day I was singled out in class because I was the only student who wasn't wearing the 'official' PE uniform.

Yeah...it's been interesting.

Haha, I remember the zeal and enthusiasm I had before I started uni, stars in my eyes, dreaming of bringing revival to the campus and being a bright shining light. I still believe God will do all those things, but it'll definitely be Him and not me because even the Campus Crusade for Christ fellowship is all in Chinese. They had a fair today to advertise all the student groups and organisations and not a single one was in English!!!

I've been completely humbled. I'm starting to realise that as much as I want to be such a blessing to people, this is also a place where I will be further refined and tested. It's hard to not be able to speak Chinese, it really puts me at such a disadvantage, but it really is such a great thing! My whole life, I've always been so self-sufficient and would never bring myself to ask for help. This week would've been a disaster if I didn't ask for help! In fact, I found myself asking for help more times this week than I probably have my whole life!!! I was completely at the mercy of other people's goodness towards me, and totally helpless and dependent on their help.

It's an interesting place to be at...a mix between being humbled and vulnerable. God is really breaking my pride through this, because I've always expected myself to be 'perfect', to 'know everything' and to only accept help from people if I can 'pay them back'. But right now I'm in a place where I really have nothing to offer except my questions and need for help!

God has been so faithful though. Every morning I'd cry out, 'Oh Jesus, help me get to my next class, I can't find it on the map, I don't even know the building name because the building names on my timetable are abbreviated! Oh Lord, I don't even know what bus to take or what station to get off at!' and every time, He would always send someone who would overhear me either muttering to myself (yeah, I have that bad habit), or opening my huge campus map like a tourist and take me to my class or give me directions. I haven't missed a class yet!

The other thing that He's really working in me right now in this situation is being able to stand alone in being different. I've never been so alone in a foreign situation before, but He's working patience in me when people get bored talking to me and start speaking in Chinese and I don't understand what they're saying. It's obvious I stand out, and that I'm different, and when people start finding out about my beliefs, I'm going to stick out even more, but I know that this is only the beginning of the training for the rest of my life.

Being the 'foreign' girl who doesn't really have friends, will I conform to what people want in order to have friends, or will I be content to be alone (if it should come down to it) and stay true to Him and retain my integrity? I need grace!!!

I really love this situation I'm in (I know! Maybe I'm a little weird...) because I know without a doubt that I'm where I'm supposed to be. There are challenges and things that are so frustrating at times, but so often, I'll be sitting in my lecture and this peace will wash over me, and I'll just sigh this big sigh of complete contentment. I know He's doing a great work in my heart even if I don't understand it all.

It is pure joy to persevere through all this by His grace and know that everyday, I'm being moulded more and more in His image.

Yay! I'm becoming like the One I love.

I start my first day at university tomorrow morning!

After dropping out of university in Australia 2 years ago because my drinking problem, I am finally going back to my studies! During these last 2 years, God has not only healed and restored me, but He has filled me with so much love that I am being sent onto the campus tomorrow overflowing with His love and light. Praise the Lord for how He redeemed my life and for His goodness and grace! Praise the Lord for my parents who have been so gracious to give me this second chance and invest in me again. I am so eternally grateful for the blessings that I have received.

I am so excited about my first day tomorrow. Even though I was a Christian when I was studying in Australia, I was totally oblivious to Jesus. But this time, I get to sit in the classroom...with Jesus! I get to sit in the lectures...with Jesus! I get to eat lunch...with Jesus! I get to talk to Him during the class and ask His opinion on things. I'm so thrilled to be able to do new things with Him! With my precious Jesus, every ordinary thing becomes extraordinary.

Oh my Jesus, You have become so very precious to me.

"I am my lover's and my lover is mine." - Song of Songs 6:3

So I've been thinking a lot lately about my future study plans. God has revealed to me that He doesn't want me to go to Australia to study...at least for now anyways. He has shown me that He wants me in Singapore, so to Singapore I shall go.

However, last night I was thinking a lot about going to Bible college. See, in 2004 before I even went to uni, I had this strong desire to go to a Christian uni, but I got talked out of it. The desire is still here though. I just don't know whether the desire is purely mine, or mine because God put it there.

I really want to go to Bible college, but the more I think about it, the more I think, 'Well, it's not really me...plus, I don't know how to ask my parents and also will I be able to deal with all the rules and regulations?'. But then I talked to my friend Christ last night about it, and he was saying that he thinks it is me and could be me if I let God guide me. Maybe it is me. I don't know. All I know is that after everything God has given me, a second chance at life, what I really want to do is to give my life back to Him. Bible college would give me the grounding and discipline I need, along with the option of going into worship ministry or Christian counselling, which to me sounds like heaven.

I guess I'm searching...I want my life to impact people and help people. I want to make a difference. And most of all, I hope that when I'm 40, I will still want to make a difference, and not be so jaded by the world that I don't even bother anymore. Maybe I can't make huge differences in people lives or change the world, but every little bit helps.

I just received an offer letter from University of New South Wales in Australia...and I'm so confused.  I know that I had made up my mind earlier to carry on my studies in Singapore, but now I'm suddenly not so sure.

With the progress I'm making in my recovery, it's so easy to picture myself being fine going back to Australia, but how realistic that is, I have no idea.  My plans of studying in Singapore seem to be falling through, with one of the polytechnics sending me a letter suggesting that with my qualifications, I'd be better off doing something else.

What do I want?  Do I really want to go back to Singapore and be with family, or am I on some level deep down just afraid of going back and being on my own? 

Boy, do I have some exciting news! I don't think many of you knew, but I applied a month ago to 3 universities in Australia. Anyways, while waiting to find out about my application status, I had a brainwave and to cut a long story short, I'm no longer going to be studying in Australia, but in Singapore!

Isn't that awesome? My family is relocating back to Singapore next year, and my relatives are all already in Singapore, so for the first time in 12 years, I will be living in the same country as my family and relatives! I'm thrilled with this new plan, and my parents are so overjoyed that I'm going to be with them for the next 3 years while I'm studying.

I'm applying to study in Singapore this week...keep your fingers crossed for me!

Okay, I don't really know how many people read this, but I need help, so I'll carry on with this post. I have to submit a portfolio of my own 10 original artworks to this university that I'm applying to...but trouble is, I don't have a single piece yet. My deadline's in December.

Anyhow, I need help starting. So, please, my dear readers, tell me some interesting themes that I could work with. I've already thought of freedom and beginnings...but I need more! Help, help!!!