It was my DTS graduation yesterday! I can't believe that it's all nearly over. It seems like just yesterday that I arrived here in Penang. I never thought that I would complete it...somehow there was always this part of me that didn't believe that I wouldn't mess this up.
It was such a good graduation! God really came through for me when I shared my testimony about my DTS experience. Before, I only had a vague idea of what He wanted me to share about, but when I sat down and asked Him for the specifics, He gave me so many details in a coherent, logical flow and even gave me key phrases!
I was so blessed. Before I shared, I had been praying that even though I was sharing to a room full of Christians and only sharing for 3 minutes, that God would somehow use my testimony to encourage people and build their faith. Anyways, so many people came up to me afterwards to say that they had indeed been encouraged! Go God!
What an intense last couple of days! I never knew that altitude sickness could be so bad...I honestly felt like I was going to die. Thank You, Lord, that You don't think that I'm a pathetic failure for having to turn back. I cling to what Willemene said that You taught us perseverance through this because I still don't understand why my body failed me at such an important time.
Thank You, Lord, for Your grace and mercy. You truly sustained Willemene and I yesterday on the descend down. I don't know how we made it, because I could barely sit up in the cabin and I was throwing up and walking into walls like a drunk, but somehow You did it. Thank You for keeping us safe and for stopping the snow. Thank You especially for the porters that looked after us on the way down and were willing to carry us if we really couldn't make it. Thank You also for the people at Chylompati who took care of us as if we were family.
Lord, there was such a deception over me last night when we climbed up to Gosaikunda. I actually believed that You were an angry God punishing me for some sin that I had committed. I see now that this deception had already been in my heart, and the pressure of this situation caused it to come to the surface.
We're running a 2 day seminar at the church we're staying at, and all of us have to teach on a topic for about an hour and a half. We kicked it off yesterday and I taught on 'Hearing God's Voice'.
About halfway through my teaching, my nerves suddenly just kicked in and I lost it and started giggling and laughing hysterically. I was backed up against the wall (I was debating running out the door) with my hands over my mouth, saying OUT LOUD, 'Oh my gosh, what is happening to me?' Apparently this was round about when Hailey whipped her head back to the team and said, 'Start praying NOW!!!'
I was just about to run out the room when Jared shouted, 'Have some water!' This snapped me out of it, and I was able to carry on fine.
Despite my very human failings, God still touched the people, and when we had ministry time, there were quite a few people who did manage to hear from Him and receive some words and visions. Thank You for grace!!!
Check this out!
Yesterday:
- 10:30am - handed out tracts on the street, shared testimony with Joti's family.
- 1:15 pm - cast out demon in lady.
- 4:00pm - handed out tracts at the park, walked through a crowded market place where we did a performance on the gospel and then shared my testimony to many Nepali villagers.
- Visited 2 villages, performed skit in 1 village
- Stopped at a road junction and did skit again, and also shared testimony to a crowd.
Isn't that crazy???
Another day in the life of a YWAMer :D
Today we went to a Nepali church service where Seth shared his testimony and Niklos preached a message on the Father Heart of God. Before Niklos went up to preach, I got this sense from God that He was going to do something big during this service and I had a vision of the Holy Spirit being poured out on the church and people crying and being healed, so I wrote a note to Niklos telling him this. I nearly didn't send the note, just in case nothing happened and I was wrong, but in the end, God won and I sent the note, hoping that I heard correctly.
Anyway, Niklos preached an awesome message and the people were just drinking it in. At the end of the message, he had our team come to the front to pray for the people, and that's when things started happening! The Holy Spirit moved so powerfully and so many people were touched. I wish I could tell you the experiences of my other teammates, but we haven't really talked about it yet, so you'll just have to hear my side of the story.
Well, I went up to this girl and laid hands on her and the minute I started praying for her, tears just started pouring down her cheeks and she started praising Jesus. It was so incredible! This heat started rushing through my body and my hands started shaking, and I just kept praying over her in tongues and she was sobbing and thanking God over and over.
Then God told me to move on to this older lady and pray for her, and again, the second I laid hands on her, she started crying. It was crazy, her tears kept flowing and flowing, and before I knew it, she was in my arms and wailing. Like serious heart-wrenching wailing to the point where I was a little scared. But yeah, later on, she got her daughter (the first girl I prayed for! They weren't even standing together but somehow God directed me!!!) to tell me that she had this vision of a pig lying in mud and dirt and that when I prayed for her, she saw that pig rise up out of the mud. She praised God for the healing that He was doing in her, and they asked me to pray for them because her husband (the girl's father) wasn't saved.
I think there was two more people that I prayed for, and the same thing happened each time - the Holy Spirit came and they all cried as He started healing them. It was so powerful and I was so moved by God's heart for these people, and I loved how when He brought healing, all of them moved from tears into praising Him for who He is and what He's done.
It was so exhilarating. This is what I want to do all my life!!! It was my first 'real' ministry experience and what I tasted and saw, I want to be a part of always!!! God wants to bring healing and new life to His people, and I want to be His hands and feet. Something in me was so stirred up as we all ministered to the people...it was kinda like deep down inside me, something just knew that this was what I've been created for.
I want more. I want to see thousands, millions, the whole world come to Christ and receive the healing and life that they so desperately need. I want to be part of God's plan to usher in His kingdom, and I want to partner with Him! I want my life to count. I want to remain nameless and faceless while His name is glorified through my life, and I want people not to remember me, but the love that Jesus and I share.
May He be lifted up in my life and yours, and His name praised and glorified, forever and ever. Amen!
We're 4 days into our trip and I'm still loving Nepal. What's not to love? Good food, good accomodation and good company. :D I've definitely gotten to know my team better since we got here...you kinda have to, when the transport system here forces 22 people into a tiny mini-van. There's something bonding about sharing the same sweat as someone for a couple of hours...wait, excuse me while I go puke. I can't believe I just said that. That being said though, I'm pretty surprised at the fact that we don't smell as bad as I thought we would.
We went to a children's orphanage yesterday and when we got there, we were spontaneously told that we had to 'entertain' them for about an hour. So Niklos started story-telling while we acted, Jared entertained them with magic tricks, and the rest of us tried to make balloon animals (which didn't work because they kept bursting. I think I scared the kids when my balloon popped and I screamed).
There was this little girl who kept coming up to me and hugging me, and man, I just wanted to pick her up and bring her home :( I think it was Leah who said when we left that she's going to adopt 1000 Nepali babies. And Jared wanted to import Nepali kids to the orphanage that he's gonna set up. And Hailey's going to adopt them from him. Me? I ran down the road squealing, 'I want babies!!!'. Ummm...no.
Today we went for a prayer walk around this area called Bouddhanath, and then visited this big temple there. It was so heart-breaking seeing all the Buddhist devotees bowing down, prostrating themselves over and over again for hours without stopping. These people give up everything and sacrifice so much to earn 'salvation' and they believe they're on their way to attaining it. But, after they die, they'll find out that everything they lived for was nothing but lies. My heart hurt so much at that realisation. It really made me understand so much more how even if we're not called to be on the mission field in some 3rd world country, we are obligated as Christians to spread the Good News wherever we go and whoever happens to be in our area of influence.
As Christians, we can't turn a blind eye to the lost anymore. We can't be indifferent, apathetic...do we really understand the reality that these people will spend an eternity burning in hell if we don't step up and lay down our pride to love them and share with them the gospel??? It really challenges me so much. I don't want to stand in front of Jesus on Judgement Day and tell Him that I did absolutely zilch for His kingdom but spent my life and the blessings He gave me all on myself.
Anyway, I gotta walk back for dinner soon, but if anyone is reading this and has time, please pray for me and the team. Pray especially for protection and for our health. Thanks! :D
"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11
Thank you so much, Lord, for the blessings You bring to my life, how You always know what I need and then give me a hundred times more!
You have surrounded me in LOVE and I am drowning in it. Thank You that before I leave to Nepal, You gave me phone calls with Dad, Mum, Tom, Damien, Jimmy, Abby and I also got to see Les. You bless me abundantly and I could never thank You enough.
Off to Nepal in 2 1/2 hours!
Prophecies can be so dangerous if we don't examine them according to the Word and ask God for confirmation. Even the most righteous and holy man can potentially give the wrong message not because they heard wrongly but because of the way they express themselves. For me, the prophecy that was said over me a few days ago caused me so much grief because the language that the person used was received by me in a way that made me feel so condemned. I have so many hurts and hangups that I felt so humiliated and shamed by the prophecy.
Thank God though that when I finally went to Him (after 2 days of not sleeping and LOTS of crying) and asked Him for the real message, He spoke the same prophecy to me but in the words and language that I understand. I see now that the essence of the message was pretty much the same, but because different words mean different things to me, I interpreted what the guy said so wrongly.
The lesson that God's been teaching me through this is that He wants to draw me into a new season where He doesn't use other people as much to speak to me because He wants to speak directly to me Himself. The leaders here are so anointed and so accurate in hearing from God that I fell into the trap of seeking them instead of seeking God. This whole prophecy thing has showed me that it's so important that whilst we must always be humble to receive other people's input into our lives, we must hear from God ourselves and seek Him and not other people.
The Lord spoke to me today when everyone was praying over me in small group. I felt God saying to me that He wanted to take me so deep in intimacy that I won't have to steal away to be alone with Him to be able to sense and feel His presence, because His presence will be constantly with me. Right as God was saying that to me, Liyien confirmed it by praying it out loud!
AWESOME!
We learnt THE coolest thing today. Jimmy's been teaching us on how to hear the voice of God, and he had us split into groups of 4 today where we were supposed to ask God for a word of encouragement for each person and then give it to them. Freaky stuff! I thought he was joking when he instructed us, but he WASN'T!
Today was a rough day...God brought up to the surface my deep rooted fears of abandonment and I spent my hour of quiet time bawling like a baby because I was so scared that one day, I would wake up and He would be gone. I feel like I've entered a fairy tale where Jesus is my Prince, and although I know that He'll never leave me nor forsake me, I guess deep down, so many people have walked away from me that I am absolutely terrified that He will do the same.
It's so hard because I really do know how weak and unworthy I am. I can't breathe, eat, wake up without Him, let alone try and navigate through life. Oh Lord, if you should ever leave me, I would surely die.
But thank God, for His perfect mercy, because during the encouragement time today, He spoke words of comfort into my heart through the people in my group (who didn't have any knowledge of what I was struggling with!!! So cool.)
Melanie saw God putting a new robe around me and wrapping His arms around me. He's been healing me and removing all the old things from my life, but now is a season where He's clothing me with my new nature. He wants to transform me so much that my past seems so far away and I won't be able to even remember some of the memories. He will remove the sting and emotions from all these memories and cause me to be able to see that He was always there. He was there even then but I wasn't able to receive His love, but now I can and He wants to take away all my fears, loneliness and feelings of abandonment.
Aafke saw God the Father smiling down on me and I'm skipping and dancing around everyone. There's a joy and sweetness around me and it comes from my Father's love. This joy spreads to everyone around me and my Father is so pleased wiht me.
Joy saw me in a courtyard in front of a great big house. The courtyard is so small but to me, it's so big and I'm so excited and happy with it. However, God is saying, 'Come into My house!' because He wants to give me more and more than what I already have.
Jimmy saw me with a new shiny crown on my heart and it says, 'I belong'. God will never leave me, and I don't have to fear anymore. The verse God gave him for me was, "I am my lover's and my lover is mine." (Song of Solomon 6:3)
Isn't our God just so magnificent? He comforts me in all my sorrows.
I've finally arrived! I've waited for so long for this, and I'm finally here in Penang to do my DTS with YWAM! God has blessed me so much that even though I was one of the last ones to arrive, I was given my own bunk bed and my own cupboard! It's more than I could ever have hoped for. He is so good to me. :)
Well, I'll be here for the next 5 1/2 months learning more about God and going on a 6 week mission trip. I really pray that while I'm here, I would really learn to discipline my body, that I might be able to be a morning person, waking up early to spend my quiet time with You. I'm a bit scared I won't have time to meet with You and seek Your face, so help me to make an effort because truly, all I want is You.
We were prayed over by the staff today, and Melanie (the base director's wife) had two prophetic images for me.
- Lots of little lights and a huge light descending upon me (I felt God's liquid love just pouring out over me as she was praying this out!).
- My mouth opening to speak and my tongue turning into a key that God had given me to unlock the hearts of men and women for their healing, that they might know God.
The Girl
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