I received this comment today on one of my blog posts and unfortunately it was from an anonymous person so I couldn't respond to them personally, but I guess I want to do the next best thing and respond over here because I think it's important that it's addressed :)

"i'm so encouraged by your writing. how, how would one grow & walk in God? i try and fail, and try, and fail. it stinks. i'm thirsty -- but does it involve getting bored at devotions at first -- though you KNOW theres so much life to be had!?!?!"

One of the things I realised through reading my blog is that a lot of my posts are about the really cool and awesome things that God is doing, and whilst I do believe that it is important to proclaim the goodness of God, I don't ever want people to read my blog and then feel discouraged because they aren't experiencing all this yet. The truth is, whilst I do have pretty amazing experiences with God, it is not always high up in the mountain tops all the time! Just like every relationship, there are the ups and the downs, but we keep seeking that intimacy with Jesus because we love Him and know that we need Him for everything.

When I first started spending time with God a little over a year ago, I could not even spend 10 minutes with Him. Time seemed to pass by so slowly and often times, I would just fall asleep or be so bored it felt as if I was asleep. But, the important thing for me was that God really showed me that though my willingness and desire to connect with Him was there, it would not be my own strength or willpower that would sustain me and bring this about...this had to be a divine act of grace! I kept crying out for grace to keep meeting with Him and persevering even though at first it seemed like I was going nowhere, and somedays I had to grit my teeth and spend some time with Him even though He felt so distant because I knew that I needed Him so much.

Somewhere along the way, things DID get easier, and as God and I kept meeting regularly, He continued His work of changing my heart until He became more and more real to me and our quiet times together became more and more satisfying. That doesn't mean it's all always super cool though, there are days when He is silent or when I'm just too tired to even focus on Him, but what's important is that we realise that even when it feels like nothing is being accomplished, you can never lose when you choose to invest in intimacy with Jesus!

I have many days when I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling and days when I don't even know what to say, but man oh man, when He does show up in a big way, it is so amazing that it makes everything soooooo worth it!

"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who HEAR the word, RETAIN it, and by PERSEVERING produce a crop." - Luke 8:15