You are so amazing, God!!!!!!

So here I was, struggling with loving this person, trying to fight with impatience, but then when I came to the end of myself and realised that I do not have it in me to love her, I cried out to You, and You answered. How quickly You work, my God!

I can hardly believe that someone that used to grate on my nerves so much that I couldn't stand being around them has suddenly been transformed in my eyes in a few hours. All I did was confess my lack of love for her to my brother and sister and we prayed together and asked that the Lord would give me love for her because I desired to love her the way Jesus did.

Then suddenly, I felt convicted. Convicted of the unloving way I had treated her in my attitude and heart when what I should have been moving in was compassion and love. So, first came repentance to God whom I had sinned against and hurt.

Then came an email to her repenting for my lack of love for her and telling her that I wanted to stand by her and support her (I can't believe I not only wrote that but actually FELT it, because just a few hours ago, I wanted to run away as far as I could from her!!!). But then I really felt like I wanted to say it to her so I called her and repented (which must've made me seem so weird because she and I have spoken less than five minutes in all the time that I've known her) and SHE FORGAVE ME. Not only that, she actually said that she felt like I didn't do anything against her...oh how sweet is Your forgiveness, Lord!

How is it that my Jesus is able to change my heart with just one touch from His Hand? How is He able to give me compassion that breaks my heart for the same person that only hours ago made me cringe everytime I was near her?!?! Not only that, but I feel this sudden burst of affection where I just want to go to her and talk and know her and hug her and kiss her and hear her story...It's too crazy!

My God is amazing!!! It is wonderful that I can do nothing on my own, because how awesome it is that He does it all for me!!!!!!! I am so astounded by the grace that that person extended to me and at the same time, so completely humbled because I see just how sinful I am, and how great and completely wonderful my God is. Thank God His blood covers all my sin and that His goodness covers all my weaknesses.

This is the answer that I keep forgetting. How do I love those that I cannot stand? I cannot without Him!!! But by His love and His goodness, I can love the whole world!

Yay!

Hallelujah!!!!!!