Well, my first week isn't completely over yet (I still have class tomorrow) but I figured I'd blog about it tonight. It's been an exhausting and extremely stretching week, what with not being able to speak Chinese (I'm going to Chinese University...do you see the problem?), and not even being able to find my classrooms on the map, oh and don't forget the day I was singled out in class because I was the only student who wasn't wearing the 'official' PE uniform.

Yeah...it's been interesting.

Haha, I remember the zeal and enthusiasm I had before I started uni, stars in my eyes, dreaming of bringing revival to the campus and being a bright shining light. I still believe God will do all those things, but it'll definitely be Him and not me because even the Campus Crusade for Christ fellowship is all in Chinese. They had a fair today to advertise all the student groups and organisations and not a single one was in English!!!

I've been completely humbled. I'm starting to realise that as much as I want to be such a blessing to people, this is also a place where I will be further refined and tested. It's hard to not be able to speak Chinese, it really puts me at such a disadvantage, but it really is such a great thing! My whole life, I've always been so self-sufficient and would never bring myself to ask for help. This week would've been a disaster if I didn't ask for help! In fact, I found myself asking for help more times this week than I probably have my whole life!!! I was completely at the mercy of other people's goodness towards me, and totally helpless and dependent on their help.

It's an interesting place to be at...a mix between being humbled and vulnerable. God is really breaking my pride through this, because I've always expected myself to be 'perfect', to 'know everything' and to only accept help from people if I can 'pay them back'. But right now I'm in a place where I really have nothing to offer except my questions and need for help!

God has been so faithful though. Every morning I'd cry out, 'Oh Jesus, help me get to my next class, I can't find it on the map, I don't even know the building name because the building names on my timetable are abbreviated! Oh Lord, I don't even know what bus to take or what station to get off at!' and every time, He would always send someone who would overhear me either muttering to myself (yeah, I have that bad habit), or opening my huge campus map like a tourist and take me to my class or give me directions. I haven't missed a class yet!

The other thing that He's really working in me right now in this situation is being able to stand alone in being different. I've never been so alone in a foreign situation before, but He's working patience in me when people get bored talking to me and start speaking in Chinese and I don't understand what they're saying. It's obvious I stand out, and that I'm different, and when people start finding out about my beliefs, I'm going to stick out even more, but I know that this is only the beginning of the training for the rest of my life.

Being the 'foreign' girl who doesn't really have friends, will I conform to what people want in order to have friends, or will I be content to be alone (if it should come down to it) and stay true to Him and retain my integrity? I need grace!!!

I really love this situation I'm in (I know! Maybe I'm a little weird...) because I know without a doubt that I'm where I'm supposed to be. There are challenges and things that are so frustrating at times, but so often, I'll be sitting in my lecture and this peace will wash over me, and I'll just sigh this big sigh of complete contentment. I know He's doing a great work in my heart even if I don't understand it all.

It is pure joy to persevere through all this by His grace and know that everyday, I'm being moulded more and more in His image.

Yay! I'm becoming like the One I love.