I never thought I could feel so complete in a strange land where I don't really know anyone, and yet I do. Every morning, I wake up and my heart sings for joy. The joy bubbles over inside me and consumes me and for just an instant, I wonder why I feel so amazing, so loved, so excited about the day, and then I remember and it makes me smile...Jesus loves me! Jesus. Loves. ME!!! How awesome is it know that the One who loves you the most in this world is with you all the time? He is in my heart, in my head, in all my thoughts, in me, around me, surrounding me, and I'm never alone. That just blows my mind. Every morning when I ponder the mystery of this, I find myself drowning even deeper in His love.

I never thought I would ever feel this way about Someone that I can't even see, and yet I do. Maybe I can't see Him or feel Him with my eyes and body, but I can see Him with my heart. He's everywhere I look and everywhere I turn, and I feel His presence with me all the time. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever dreamt that it could be like this. The joy, the hope, the LOVE...Even without having a physical body to walk on this earth, He still manages to communicate His love for me in such special and unique ways every single day.

When I'm riding on the train to work, or even just sitting in my room, I can't stop the huge grin from spreading across my face. I stare into space in public when I'm alone, and remember something He said to me or did for me that day and I laugh out loud like a crazy maniac. I feel like I'm going crazy, but it's such a good feeling. I can't stop talking about Him or thinking about Him, and no matter what anyone says to me, I always find some way of bringing the conversation back to Him, because somehow He's just connected to everything. Even with non-Christians, I end up talking about Jesus's love because everything someone says to me reminds me of Him, and I just can't keep it in. Whenever I share about what He's doing in my life, my joy becomes complete, and I become so dizzy and overwhelmed by His outpouring of love unto me. I'm so scared that I'm going to squeal and dance around on the train, because when His joy flows through me, I find myself losing control. Lately, I keep having these fantasies of standing in the middle of a busy street and screaming, 'I LOVE YOU, LORD!!!'

It's like when you're in love with someone and you want the whole world to know. I want to stand on the top of the highest mountain and shout about everything that He has done for me. I don't want Him to bless me with anything else apart from more and more of Him, for in Him is my heart's greatest delight. I don't care if I don't have friends here, or if my job is boring, I just want more and more closeness with Him. I want to know His heart, because He knows mine. Oh Lord, don't ever let this passion for You die out in me. It is only by Your grace that I have this hunger for You, please continue to keep the fire burning in me. Consume me, Lord, I'm losing myself in You.

ARGH...Words are so inadequate. Melodies not intricate enough. For who can describe the full wonder of Your love? I've just reread what I've written and it doesn't even come close to how I feel right now. Lord, I pray that when I come down from this spiritual high, that I would remember this time and continue to seek You and pursue You even during the times when You feel so distance. May I chase after You even more during the times when You seem far away. Let me remember Your love when I'm in the valleys and continue to walk with You in faith.