There are always areas of my life that are unsurrendered to God, and just when I'm getting all pleased about the things that I have thrown off, He reveals to me something new. Oh Lord, this one is so painful, because it is not like the other things that were bad for me. This one is good, but Lord, it is not the best thing for me right now. I want to be a useful tool in Your magnificent hands, and so I am committed to removing from my life anything that hinders me from having an undivided heart.

Lord, You have shown me that You cannot use me the way You want to in Singapore as long as my heart is still in Hong Kong. You showed me how my plan to visit Hong Kong in October was not really as innocent as I wanted to think, but it was me trying to cling to and hang on to what I have already moved on from. I wanted to go back to see all my friends, and most of all, to spend time with D, but I know that by doing so, I would prevent myself from really committing to my time in Singapore. I believe it is Your will for me to be in Singapore, and so I can't live my life here going through the motions, living for my next visit back to Hong Kong. I have to let it go. I have to let D go.

I had the choice between going back to Hong Kong for a visit or going on a family holiday, and even though I had planned my trip to Hong Kong first, I know that I came back here to Singapore to be with my family, so even though it hurts so much, I choose to go with my family. Love is a choice, and I choose to love my family by putting them above my desires, because they are important to me and I want them to know that. God, You called me back to Singapore to be a blessing to my family and to serve them, so how could I be so selfish as to choose my own desires above my family? Lord, please bless the time that we spend together as a family. Let it be a time of joy and bonding...give us memories that we'll cherish for a long, long time, and even when those memories fade, let us never forget the love that we have for each other. Your will, Lord, and not mine.

I surrender Hong Kong and my longings to You, Lord. Give me a heart for Singapore, and help me to invest in the people here, and to start thinking of it as my new home. Create in me a pure heart, and renew my spirit within me.