I don't miss having one because I'm afraid to be alone or because I'm one of those girls who need to have a boyfriend to feel complete, but man, I do miss the closeness of being with someone. I miss holding someone's hand, and cuddling, and seeing their face light up with a huge smile as I walk towards them.
The church is full of couples, and sometimes I feel envy as I watch them. The nice part of me thinks 'Awww, they're so sweet', but at the same time, the mean part of me thinks, 'What's so good about those girls? How come no one's attracted to me?!?!'. The funny thing is, even if someone did like me and want to start dating me, I would turn them down, because there's only one guy I want to be with and none of them are him.
I guess God is trying to teach me to be patient and to depend on Him, and I'm really glad for this lesson. Without this time of growth, I know that I wouldn't be mature enough to handle the next relationship. God is good and I trust Him. That's good enough for me.
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3 comments
oh, btw. theres sth been on my mind lately for a while. u kno how things happen to us so similarly...wut if we both got new christian bfs at the same tiem and we even got married at the same time and had the wedding together?!?! hahahaha... and our hubby's wud b like best friends..and we're best friends..man that would be like the best. It would be lik the O.C. except without all the drama.
10/23/2006 7:04 AM
I totally understand what you're saying and feeling cuz I've been there too. Just keep trusting in God, that's the best you can do. Believe that He'll bless you so much more abundantly than you could ever imagine if you just wait on Him! But yeah, the waiting sucks.
Camy
10/23/2006 3:13 PM