Why is it so hard to be friends with guys?  

Posted by Tiffany in

I'm feeling a little crummy and upset right now. I was chatting online with a dear friend (I'll call him J) and out of nowhere, he started telling me that he loves me. Now, he did this to me over the summer to, and that kinda made our friendship weird for a while (because I told him I didn't feel the same way), so I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to do it again.

I didn't respond in the way he wanted, and maybe I shouldn't have, but I felt so mean that I just said, 'That's really sweet'. I think he took that as an encouragement and started saying that he would love to hold me all night and make love to me (?!?!), where I promptly freaked out and told him to talk about something else. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he got kinda upset and told me that he felt really stupid because I didn't feel the same, and then went offline.

Now I just feel like the world's biggest meanie. But honestly, my dear readers, what do you say when guys say that kind of stuff to you? What do you say that's firm enough for them never to bring up that topic again but polite and sensitive enough so that it doesn't ruin a close friendship (I've been good friends with this guy for 6 years)?

Oh, and I have a question. Why is it that it's always the guys you don't like that confess their love to you, and not the ones you dearly long to be with?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 at Wednesday, September 06, 2006 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


My pastor's wife held a girls talk and one of the things she discussed was "saying NO". Girls have trouble just saying no to a guy, even if we really want to! Maybe you could tell your friend, "Thank you for telling me the way you feel. Right now I don't feel the same way. Please don't discuss it again unless I'm the one to bring it up. But I still want for us to be friends!"

If you don't want to say it like that please ignore me! I have never actually had to do something like that so who am I to give advice? I wish you well though. :-)

9/07/2006 10:21 AM

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