Thirteen Countries I Have Been To
1. Singapore. I was born there.

2. Thailand - Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Krabi, Koh Samui, Phuket, Hua Hin

3. Hong Kong

4. Australia - Sydney, Melbourne, Darwin, Ayer's Rock, Perth, Brisbane, Gold Coast

5. England

6. France - Paris

7. Spain - Barcelona

8. Germany - Frankfurt, Karlsruhe, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Kaiserslautten, Manheim

9. USA - LA, San Francisco

10. Fiji

11. Malaysia - Johor Baru, Penang, Langkawi, Kota Kinabalu

12. Maldives

13. India (& Nepal!)

Oh my gosh, I've travelled so much! That is so unbelievably lucky and fortunate. I love travelling and seeing different places of the world.

Have to give a huge plug to Ice Angel for this amazing blog layout! You can find more layouts like this over here at Blogskins.com.

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking." - Romans 12:2 (MSG)

One thing I've learnt over the last few days is that even though our brothers and sisters in Christ can inspire us and spur us on towards God, they must never become the example that we want to become. Our eyes must be focused on Jesus and not on the world.

I used to think that my struggle was only against non-Christians, but that is foolish thinking. Even though other Christians may be strong in their faith, we must never replace the truth of God's Word and the Holy Spirit's conviction with their "truth". For example, one thing God really convicted me of was buying pirated DVDs. Now, if my eyes were set on Jesus as the standard that I must compare myself to, I would not buy pirated DVDs. But ever since I found out that some leaders that I respect at church bought pirated DVDs, I automatically decided that since they could do it, then I should too! That is such flawed logic, because I am using their example to guide me and not what God has spoken to me. And in truth, I was using their actions to justify what I wanted in my heart to do. I mean, who wants to pay 10 times the price for a legal copy of a DVD that you're only gonna watch a few times? Still...I know in my heart that I believe it is wrong, and I have to live according to that.

For me, it is especially hard when I see other Christians going out to clubs and bars and even hear of some of them getting drunk because I so dearly in my heart wish that I could too. I have definitely used the actions of other Christians to justify drinking, but at the end of the day, God has called me to sobriety. Maybe He hasn't called them to it, but He has definitely called me to it, and I need to obey Him, instead of comparing myself to others and following blindly with the crowd. Even if the crowd is other Christians.

I must remember that even though Christians are saved, we are all still sinners, just like the non-Christians. I cannot hold them up on a pedestal and focus my eyes on them.

"Nobody’s going to lie to you: being a Christian has never been easy. Although salivating lions no longer threaten, MTV-stylized culture presents equal danger in the slick smiles of pop stars. And you think Christianity is hard? Try living a life empty of Christ. Impossible.

Yet there is something even more fraught with peril than either of those paths -- a life filled with guilt, a constant sense of failing, and utter confusion.

I go home dejected. Where do I fit in? I’m not Christian enough for my Christian friends, and too Christian for all the people who have ever meant anything to me. I have disappointed everyone, most especially myself. I am an utter failure as a person.

Worse, I don’t even know what I believe. Do I truly think that a movie is going to poison my mind for all eternity? Do I really want to go back to the life of bar-hopping that had driven me to Jesus in the first place? Who's right?"

Joanna Saul @ Boundless Webzine

Even with the progress I've made over the last 6 months, I still feel stuck in the in-between. I thought that I was firmly standing with God, but only recently have I realised just how easy it is to fall away. In the beginning, I felt so much joy walking with God, but as I started walking with other Christians, somewhere along the way I started feeling like I had to live up to their expectations. This drew me away from pleasing God towards pleasing people, and somehow over the last week, I've been so overwhelmed with feeling that I could never reach those expectations that I just wanted to throw in the towel and walk away.

I lost myself and focus in some friendships recently and my own faith started feeling like it wasn't my own but dependent on other people. I want to take a step back from spending so much time with friends and begin to spend more time alone with God, especially now that it's Christmas season. Spending so much time with friends made me feel like I was in a constant tug-of-war between the Christian and non-Christian world. Until I figure out and am able to stand firmly with God, I need to devote more of my time to growing than socializing.