Things that happened this week

1. I stayed sober!!! It's now 6 days, 14 hours and 27 minutes. Praise God!

2. I said goodbye to my best chick friend in Hong Kong. Abby went back to Canada for uni on Monday.

3. I met up with a high school friend that I haven't seen in 2 years! It was great sitting on the roof of this skyscraper looking out onto the harbour and reminiscing over our high school days.

4. I decided to quit smoking (again). I found out how nasty it really is when I smoked right before a hot yoga class (which by the way is a 40C class, not sure what that is in Fahrenheit) and nearly threw up.

5. I found a mobile phone while riding on the ferry, and managed to scroll through the call list and call 'Dad' and so managed to return the phone to its owner (a 13 year old boy lol).

6. I applied to college and found out that the college that I have my heart set on requires me to have a portfolio consisting of 10 pieces of artwork. Unfortunately, I only have till December to get this done.

7. I read the book 'A Divine Revelation of Hell' by Mary K. Baxter and it really changed the way I thought about things. Even though I'm still debating the truth of this book, it really challenged me and inspired me to change the way I've been living and to truly start living for God.

8. I found out I have friends. It's sad I know, but I always thought that the friends I had didn't really care about me, but God has truly shown me this week through phonecalls and emails from my friends that I am loved and cherished.

9. My mum and I finished watching Season 7 of Charmed on DVD.

10. I totally forgot that I was supposed to help out at church for the Friday service and didn't go. I still feel so guilty about that.

11. I bought a rose for my mum and she was pleased!

12. I found out that my ex (who is German) is going to be doing an internship in North Carolina. In a way, I'm relieved that he didn't receive one in Asia, because then I would absolutely have to see him.

13. I read Genesis and for the first time, (even though I've read Genesis many times before) God's Word just truly came alive for me, and I was so touched by God's love and beauty.


Other Thursday Thirteen-ers

Hey guys, I stumbled onto this site today. One of her friends has been in a car accident and she, and her friend's little sister desperately need your prayers. Click here to find out the whole story.

No Average Girl, I hope you don't mind that I'm doing a post on this seeing that I don't know you and that this is the first time I've read your blog. I just want to make sure that lots of people are praying for you and Lindsay.

I saw a Word Cloud over here at 'This Ain't New York' and immediately went to make my own!

I had to base mine on my old blog though, cuz this one doesn't have nearly enough words written to make a decent Word Cloud. Click here to make your own!

I got my wish. My parents weren't as strict as I thought...I'm not really imprisoned in my house (as I thought before), but the general rule is pretty much when the sun is out, I'm allowed out of the house, but once the sun goes down, I'm supposed to be back. So that rules out any dinners or night time activities...but still, hey at least I get the afternoons (and mornings when I actually wake up before noon!).

Abby's flight back to Canada was at 9pm, and so I was able to go over to her house this afternoon and say goodbye to her. I'm so glad I was able to, even though it was so sad. We've become a 'legend' at our church, with everyone saying that we're twins, and asking where 'our other half is' whenever we're alone. It's going to be lonely going to church and not seeing her. And even more sad is not being able to wake up and roll over, reach out for my mobile and call her for our morning (well afternoon) chats.

This was truly a friendship from God. See, 2 years ago, Abby and I individually prayed to God for a friend who was exactly like us (in terms of life experience), because we were both struggling with being around 'perfect' Christians and always feeling like we weren't good enough. Anyways, we waited, and waited, and waited, until finally, this summer God arranged for us to meet. And of course we hit it off and became the bestest of friends.

We've both messed up in similar ways, but it's been such an encouragement to me to be her friend and see how no matter how many times she's fallen, she still stands firm in her faith and tries to live for God. It helps that neither of us were raised in a Christian home, because for me, it was hard going to church and meeting these people who lived in little Christian 'bubbles' with their Christian friends, Christian music, Christian talk...their struggles were so different from mine, because I was never insulated from the world (well, more than them anyways). But, with Abby, I'm just so able to open up to her and share with her my struggles, and she actually understands and can empathize.

God has blessed us so much, and I pray that He will carry on blessing our friendship.

Guess what guys? I'm now part of the Blogging Chicks Blogroll!!! To join or check it out, click here.

At this very moment, I am 2 days, 16 hours, and 19 minutes sober. It feels like it's been forever though since my last drink. I don't know how I'll be able to stay sober for long, but I'll just make sure I take everything one day at the time and not start thinking about having to stay sober forever. The thought of never having alcohol again freaks me out, which in turn makes me crave vodka.

These are the steps that my family and I have been taking:
*I don't go out by myself unless I'm accompanied by my parents, and definitely no hanging out at night.

*I take my medication (anti-depressants & anti-convulsants) regularly and as prescribed by my psychiatrist. That part is important because I used to just take my meds whenever I felt like it (which wasn't very often).

*I see my psychiatrist once a week. (My parents see him too when I go to help them feel supported and find out how they can help me)

*I removed all alcohol from my room.

*I stopped seeing and calling (although at times I do end up contacting them) my old friends that I used to drink with. This was the hardest and one of the saddest parts of my recovery.

*I started exercising (doing yoga) and this has really helped to keep my mood more stable.

*I turned to God for help and learned (and am continuing to learn) to rely on Him. Spending time with Him is something I've noticed as being a huge factor and predictor as to whether I stay sober or not.

*I started going to church again and making new friends with godly Christians. It's now kinda hard to nurture these new friendships and to make new ones because I'm not allowed to go out right now...but I'm sure in time as I become more stable, my parents will be more willing to trust me and be comfortable with the idea of me going out to hang with them.

Umm...can't think of any other steps that I've taken, but if you're reading this and think of something that you think might be useful, please leave me a comment.

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Photo Theme: Blue



This picture was taken in Germany and I remember it being freezing. I was standing on a frozen lake and the wind was blowing, and I was so cold that I was turning blue.

I'm so awfully, awfully late with this...but hey, better late than never, right?



Things I love eat

1. Sushi, especially the ones with ebi tempura (deep fried prawn that's been dipped in batter) and crabstick. But no raw fish for me!

2. Parma ham with sweet melon. My favourite Italian starter.

3. Lobster linguine with a light chilly tomato sauce. (I'm starting to drool now)

4. Clams (cooked Japanese style) in sake and butter.

5. Salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Actually, anything really with balsamic vinegar. I'm always slurping up the rest of the balsamic vinegar when there's some leftover on my plate.
6. Baked potato with lots of cheese and bacon bits. Mmmmm...

7. Bruschetta with garlic prawns (I had this in Australia a few times and fell in love with it).

8. Chicken noodle soup. Both the homemade and canned ones. I'm not picky when it comes to chicken noodle soup.

9. Mee goreng (literally translated from Malay as 'fried noodles'). In Singapore they have 'mee goreng' done Indian style with a bit of tomato sauce, and it's so unbelievably good.

10. Congee (it's a type of Chinese rice porridge) with chicken.

11. Oatmeal with mashed up banana.

12. Mango with sticky rice (this is a type of Thai dessert that I used to eat when I lived in Thailand).

13. Ben & Jerrys ice cream.

Update: I'm so bummed! I missed the comments deadline for my first Thursday Thirteen on this blog. I was too late. Boooooo.


Other Thursday Thirteen-ers

I was feeling terribly, extremely, so incredibly mad a while ago, but as quickly as my rage was aroused, it was doused out. See, one of my bestest (I know that's not really a word, but it's the only way I could make it so clear how good a friend she is to me) friends (Abby) in the whole world is moving to Canada on Monday...and since I live in Hong Kong, it's kinda a huge deal. Anyways, it's her birthday tomorrow night and I was supposed to have dinner with her to celebrate and to say goodbye (notice I said 'supposed').

Well, my parents pretty much put their foot down. After the incident on Wednesday (which I won't go into detail, but let's just say it was bad...like really bad), they're just too afraid to let me out of the house. I don't blame them. Well, I did earlier when I was still seething over not being able to see my friend again, but now I'm slowly just drifting into acceptance.

It doesn't mean I'm happy with them, or that I'm very happy with myself at the moment, but now that I've had time to cool down, I know that as stupid as I think it is, they're only just trying to keep me safe. I honestly don't think I would drink tomorrow if I saw Abby, but then again, I always think that before I end up stumbling home the following day at noon completely drunk.

I'm just sad now. I'm going to miss her. The laughter, the giggles, the sleepovers where we would lie together and pray...I'll miss you, my dear, dear friend.

So, I've moved...yet again. For those of you who didn't know me before, I moved from my old blog to here because my mum was worried as the old one had a photo of me and my real name. So to appease her, I took her suggestion and closed that one and moved here, where I am now writing under the pseudonym of 'Lily'.

Have fun here and make yourself comfortable. I'm so thrilled that you, my reader, have wandered onto here from the big world wide web. Enjoy!