Well, I've been away in Singapore this week and only just got back today...just in time for Thursday Thirteen! Woooo! What dedication!

Thirteen books that had an impact on me 1. The Bible. 2. "The Time-Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger - This was such a beautiful but tragic love story it had me sobbing for days. 3. "A Divine Revelation Of Hell" by Mary K. Baxter - Baxter was brought to hell for 40 days and nights by Jesus, who told her to write an account of it so that more people might be saved. The descriptions of the demons and how they function sent chills down my spine, and it served its purpose because I no longer wanted to have a lukewarm faith. 4. "Heaven Is So Real" by Choo Thomas - Choo is a Korean-American woman that God showed heaven to. It's similar to the book above, but is about heaven and not hell (obviously). Choo has such a pure and strong faith that it really inspired me, especially after reading about how God has prepared such a wonderful place for us after our life on earth. 5. "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey - this book is the account of James Frey as he went through rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. Although my alcohol addiction is nowhere near as bad as his, I could totally relate to his feelings and sense of frustration and hopelessness. This book was also featured on the Oprah Book Club! 6. "Growing Up A Drunk Girl" by Koren Zailckas - a true story of a girl who spent her teenage years abusing alcohol to deal with life. Sounds familiar... 7. "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel - this is a remarkable book is written by an ex-atheist journalist who went investigating the evidence for Christ, which led to him to the conclusion that Jesus really existed and is the Son of God! 8. "Can't You Sleep, Little Bear?" by Martin Waddell - it was one of my favourite books when I was a tiny tot. It's such a good kiddie's book...I would love to find another copy of it hehe. 9. "Possessing The Gates Of The Enemy" by Cindy Jacobs - an amazing book on intercessory prayer. It completely changed the way I think about praying. 10. "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy - Leslie writes and challenges her readers to live differently from the rest of the world, and to be set-apart and pure, living for God. This was the book that led me from being 'interested in Christianity' to actually becoming a Christian. No one actually led me to say the sinner's prayer...I had read about the sinner's prayer on the internet, but didn't say it till 4 months after I started going to church right after I read this book. 11. "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy - this was the first book I ever read on what a godly Christian relationship should be like, and it was fascinating reading about how Eric and Leslie got together. 12. The Harry Potter Series - no matter what I'm going through, whether I'm feeling completely depressed or upset, these books never fail to distract me. 13. "If I Perish" by Esther Ahn Kim - this book is Esther's story on what happened when the Japanese took over Korea and Esther was thrown into jail for being a Christian. Wow...looks like I read a lot of non-fiction.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Thirteen mini goals I have till the end of the year 1. To stay completely and utterly sober. Not even a single drop of alcohol! 2. To not buy cigarettes or smoke a single one. 3. To complete the About.com online course on Photoshop. 4. To have met and hung out with 21 different people from church. Why 21? Well, so that I can invite 21 people to my 21st birthday party in January! 5. To develop a habit of spending time with God everyday, even if it's only for 10 minutes. It's the discipline of doing it everyday no matter what that I wanna go for. 6. To pray with other people at least twice...so far in the 2 years I've been a Christian, I've been so shy and fearful that the only person I've ever prayed in front of was Abby. God, give me the confidence! 7. I want defined stomach muscles by the end of December!!! Which leads me to mini goal number 8... 8. To go at least 3 times a week to yoga class and sweat it out. 9. I would like to be serving my church with at least 2 hours of my time a week. Hopefully I'll get the Sunday school teaching thing I applied for! 10. I want to have finished 2 paintings. I haven't picked up a paintbrush in years, but I'm going to commit myself to painting at least 2 pictures before Christmas. 11. To learn to cook 3 new dishes. I thought I was a really bad cook when I was in Australia...but surprisingly, back in Hong Kong, I've realised how spoilt we kids are. Haha, I have a friend (won't mention any names here...) that didn't know you had to cook the potato first before making a potato salad. Oh, and I found my old roommate in Australia (she was from Hong Kong too) standing in the kitchen at 10pm holding a knife and an apple staring at it blankly. My ex had to cut it for her because she didn't know how to. We are spoilt rotten! And I'm not proud of it. 12. I would like to have read the whole of the New Testament again. And this time I'll read it during the day, and not last thing at night when I'm falling asleep while reading. 13. To learn how to talk to new people at church without freezing up by asking them questions about themselves instead of only talking when people ask me something.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

You have GOT to check out this site: Cooking4Lucy.

The owner of that site has several recipes for his pet hamster. See that tiny hamburger that he made for his hamster up there? He made it from an apple corer!!! Isn't that so great? Now I personally would not be bothered, but I think it's so great that he loves his hamster Lucy so much to go through all the trouble to make little cute meals for her. If you check out that site, he even makes a plant for her little cage!

"I WILL give up the partying scene to spend more time and meet more ppl in fellowship."

I read the above quote on my friend Abby's blog (which I'm not linking to, because she wants to keep it private), and it got me thinking about the sacrifices that I've made over the last few months.

I remember when I first was brought back to Hong Kong by my parents from college in Australia, broken completely by my alcohol addiction. I remember then wanting to change so much, because the fear of staying where I was, was greater than the fear of change. And for a while, I did change...until things got a little better.

It's so funny how quickly us humans forget. See, as soon as life was a bit brighter, I forgot all the reasons why the change I had begun was necessary. Suddenly giving up life as I had known it for something different seemed stupid. And hard. Boy, was it hard. The constant daily sacrifices of cutting of contact with all my old friends, avoiding places where I used to hang out, and not using alcohol to stop the thoughts in my mind just became too painful. Too heartbreaking. Too difficult. So I gave up, and turned back to drinking.

See, one thing that I didn't learn back then was that when you give up something, you have to fill it up with something else. Because I didn't fill my life with something else, all that these daily sacrifices did was to show me the emptiness and darkness of my life. I had no friends, no purpose, no peace of mind. If only I had known then to fill my mind and heart with God's love and Word, to fill my life with new Christian friends and my family, and to find a better outlet for my emotions instead of using alcohol.

I wish I could tell you that I learnt this and then began to apply it to my life and change. But I didn't. I had to go right back to the point where I hit further rock bottom than I had in Australia before I was able to change. But once that happened, I clung so tightly to God and my family, and He and they have indeed been so faithful to fill my life with all the goodness and love that I need.

When you give up a bad habit or take something bad out of your life, be sure to fill it up with light, or you will surely fail. It's like in Matthew 12:43-45 where an evil spirit went out of a man, but couldn't find a place to rest, so it decided to return back to its old house. It found the house "unoccupied, swept clean and put in order" and so because the house was empty (the man had not filled the previously occupied space with anything else), it brought seven other spirits more evil than it to live in the house, and the final condition of the man was worse than before. From experience, I can assure you that each time I went into recovery and fell, the harder it was to get back up, because each time I failed, I drank a little harder, a little faster, a little more reckless.

Make sure God is filling all the empty spaces in your life with His Word and love.

I've been doing the Master Cleanser (it's a sort of detoxing fast kinda thing) for the last 36 hours, but I kinda messed up. I first heard of it two years ago when I was surfing the net, and just last week, I found out that my yoga teacher and this guy from my yoga class had been doing it. The guy was doing the cleanse because he used to take a lot of medication for his neck, and so wanted to detox his body, and I was so inspired because he said he felt great.

Basically, to carry out the Master Cleanser (if you wanna read the whole book, click here), you fast from all food and drink except for this special lemonade drink, peppermint tea, and another herbal tea for a minimum of 10 days (40 days max). There were lots of success stories from people who've done the cleanse, and I decided to do it because I want to get rid of all the alcohol, drugs and cigarettes that I've put into my body for the last 6 years.

Anyhow, I went 36 hours before I gave up and ate. And stupidly thinking that because I didn't go 10 days, it was fine to eat normally instead of slowly reintroducing food into my body. So, I wolfed down a whole plate of instant noodles (with chili!!!), and biscuits and ALL THIS MEAT. And now my stomach is hurting oh so oh so badly. That was not a good idea at all to pig out after a fast.

So, I'm thinking of restarting my fast, and instead of going for 10 days, I'll just go for 3, and then after the 3 days, I will slowly reintroduce food into my body just like the book says, starting with orange juice, fruits, and then vegetables before I eat heavier foods like instant noodles.

Sorry for the quick succession of posts, but I had to say that I made it to the Thursday Thirteen Blogroll!!!! Woooooooooooooo!!!

"I called,
You answered
And You came to my rescue
and I wanna be where You are"
Hillsong United - Came To My Rescue

23 days sober. I still stand firm in my belief that when it God who is sustaining you and giving you strength, then staying sober is so easy. But, if you try to do it out of your own strength and willpower, then staying away from alcohol is the hardest thing in world. It is so heartbreaking that you would give up everything you love just for another taste of alcohol. That was where I was a few weeks ago.

I'm glad to say though, that I no longer feel like that, and I know that it's not me, but God. It's the family and parents that He blessed me with, the friends He's brought into my life, and His grace that has carried me through the last 3 weeks. I'm so thankful and eternally grateful.

A big shoutout must go to my Mum who has been ever so patient and loving towards me. Thank you, Mum!

Yay! I have good news. My mum came into my room last night to let me know that this time next week, I would've been grounded for 1 month already...so only 1 more month to go! I didn't realise it'd been so fast already...when I last posted, I was still convinced I had 2 more months to go.

The great news is that on Oct 11 (when my 1 month isn't over yet), my mum is allowing me to attend the Alpha course (it's a course on Christianity and the meaning of life)!

This is late, but I was busy!

Appetizer
What was the very last song you listened to?
'Good Monsters' by Jars of Clay. I totally recommend the song 'Work' from their new album 'Good Monsters'.

Soup
What is one company/store/corporation you would recommend that people stay away from?
None really come to mind, but does Playboy count as a company? If it does, then that would definitely be my choice. If not, then ummm...can't really think of any.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy having your picture made?
7 or 8...but only if I get to destroy the ones that I look hideous in.

Main Course
Besides a bookmark, what is something you've used to keep your place in a book?
Receipts, pencils, another book, a gummy worm, candy wrappers, my glasses...just about anything really.

Dessert
Name a food that you like that most people don't.
I'm pretty fussy about the foods I eat (I don't even eat lamb and try to avoid eating pork) but I can tell you a weird food combo that most people get disgusted with. French fries with ice cream. More specifically, McDonald's french fries with the chocolate sundae. Mmmmmm...

1. I stayed sober and used the line 'Sorry, I don't drink' for the first time in my life! It felt good saying that.

2. I repierced my belly button by myself (read the post below for the gory details!).

3. I decided to go to Singapore to study, instead of going to Australia.

4. I was woken up by the delightful Abby with a long-distance phone call from Canada.

5. I burst into hysterical giggles during yoga class when everyone was meditating. There was someone in the class that squeaked and buzzed like a mosquito everytime she breathed in, and that cracked me up so hard, my body was shaking and I nearly had to walk out of the class because I was disturbing everyone.

6. I went out with my dad for dinner 3 times, which is the most I've ever gone out with my dad in a week.

7. I no longer have dreams about falling down and not being able to walk. A few weeks ago when I was stuck in the drinking cycle, I kept having dreams about falling down and not being able to get back up, and when I did finally get up, my legs wouldn't support me so I would fall down again. My mum interpreted my dream for me when I told her, and told me that once I was firmly determined to sober up and stay sober, the dreams would stop...and they have!

8. I found out from talking to my mum that I am still to be grounded during the evenings and nights for 2 months. *sigh* I guess 'grounded' wouldn't really be the right word, but it's more like if I do go out at night and come home drunk, she's sending me straight to rehab, which I absolutely do not want.

9. I filled in the application forms to study in Singapore! Wooooo!

10. I noticed more definition in my stomach muscles when I looked into the mirror at yoga class yesterday! Yay :-D

11. A guy from my yoga class asked me how old I was, and was totally shocked that I was 20, because he thought I was 15. How is that possible??? No wonder I always got carded when I went to bars...people always say I look 15 or 16...oh well, I'll be laughing when I'm 40.

12. I bought 2 pairs of trousers from Mango, and they kinda shrank in the wash, so they're a bit too tight for me, but I'll wear them anyways because they cost a lot.

13. I made new friends at church and might be going to a movie with them this Saturday!

Click here to see more Thursday Thirteens.

I used to have my belly button pierced back in 2002 because my boyfriend back then was majorly into body piercings and tattoos. I had cute little pink belly rings, dolphins and butterflies, and I loved it. But in 2003, after breaking up with my boyfriend, I decided to remove it and let the hole close up and heal.

And so it did...for 3 years...until today.

It was raining outside and I was stuck at home, bored and feeling a tiny bit crazy. I started going through my stuff, and after going through the many books that I have, I moved onto my jewellery box, where I found all my old belly rings. "What a shame I can't use them anymore" I thought, while trying to put one back into my belly. It wouldn't go in though, because after 3 years, scar tissue had grown and the hole had closed up.

So I did what any spontaneous and smart (haha! NOT!) person would do. I kept pushing it and pushing it. Never mind the blood that was coming out or the pain, I was determined that all the money that I had spent on belly rings would not be wasted. So ten minutes later, with my face red from holding my breath (because of the pain) and my belly aching, I am now a proud owner of a hole in my belly.

Trust me, it looks better than it sounds.

I hope it doesn't get infected. If it does, I'll just take it out, but until then, yay! I have a pink gemstone adorning my belly button.

I definitely don't think I'll try and reopen my old tongue piercing.

Boy, do I have some exciting news! I don't think many of you knew, but I applied a month ago to 3 universities in Australia. Anyways, while waiting to find out about my application status, I had a brainwave and to cut a long story short, I'm no longer going to be studying in Australia, but in Singapore!

Isn't that awesome? My family is relocating back to Singapore next year, and my relatives are all already in Singapore, so for the first time in 12 years, I will be living in the same country as my family and relatives! I'm thrilled with this new plan, and my parents are so overjoyed that I'm going to be with them for the next 3 years while I'm studying.

I'm applying to study in Singapore this week...keep your fingers crossed for me!

I was surfing around and came across this quiz. Take the quiz and tell me what you get!

This is my first Friday Feast!

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you are wearing today.
A hot pink, just-below the knees ethnic patterned skirt, a black puffy sleeves top, and silver hooped earrings.

Soup
Who was the last person you hugged?
Either my mum or dad. Outside of my family, it would be my friend Seb who fed me dumplings and watched Gladiator with me on Monday.

Salad
What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?
Oooh, that would be a tomato, brie cheese and basil baguette from Pret A Manger. It is simply divine. Or if I'm feeling really unhealthy and craving something greasy, it would be chicken nuggets from McDonalds with BBQ sauce.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
About midnight. I feel sleepy and tired throughout the whole day, but once it goes past midnight, I just perk up and get all wide awake.

Dessert
Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)
Okay, have to use my pseudonym here so: Little Idiot Loves Yahweh (hah! It describes me perfectly).

This video clip made me smile and laugh. It's wonderful.

I'm feeling a little crummy and upset right now. I was chatting online with a dear friend (I'll call him J) and out of nowhere, he started telling me that he loves me. Now, he did this to me over the summer to, and that kinda made our friendship weird for a while (because I told him I didn't feel the same way), so I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to do it again.

I didn't respond in the way he wanted, and maybe I shouldn't have, but I felt so mean that I just said, 'That's really sweet'. I think he took that as an encouragement and started saying that he would love to hold me all night and make love to me (?!?!), where I promptly freaked out and told him to talk about something else. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he got kinda upset and told me that he felt really stupid because I didn't feel the same, and then went offline.

Now I just feel like the world's biggest meanie. But honestly, my dear readers, what do you say when guys say that kind of stuff to you? What do you say that's firm enough for them never to bring up that topic again but polite and sensitive enough so that it doesn't ruin a close friendship (I've been good friends with this guy for 6 years)?

Oh, and I have a question. Why is it that it's always the guys you don't like that confess their love to you, and not the ones you dearly long to be with?

Lessons I've learnt in the 20 years of my life

1. If you're not happy with something in your life, it's your responsibility to change it instead of sitting around waiting for things to change. I learnt that you do yourself no good by moaning about things, instead you should channel your energy towards taking action.

2. I learnt that just because a person is particularly quiet or grumpy one day, it doesn't always mean that you've done something wrong. They could simply have had a bad day or are just thinking about things. I used to freak out everytime someone acted differently around me.

3. That you should really do laundry at least once a week, because it builds up...really fast.

4. That wearing all black, leather and chains, black eyeshadow and blood red lipstick is not a good for me at all.

5. The type of friends you hang around really does influence your behaviour. I never used to believe this, and would hang around with anyone as long as they were 'fun' even if I knew they were such a bad influence. Thankfully, I've learnt this...although it still is a bit hard putting it into practice.

6. Eat until you're nearly full, then push the plate away. Never, ever eat till you're full and then go for seconds. The consequences are not nice at all.

7. Drinking does not solve problems. Neither does it relieve pain permanently (unless you die of course), nor does it bring you satisfaction (although it's nice to pretend for a while).

8. The guy you love with all your heart might not be the right guy for you. This I've learnt, but still don't understand. I always thought that love conquered all. *sigh*

9. When Mum says not to do something...she's normally right (even if you don't always admit it). How aggravating.

10. Food really does taste so much better when you're pinching it from someone else's plate than when you order it.

11. God really is there. Even when I wasn't looking for Him, He was there. And no matter how much I try to run away from Him, He always pursues me and longs for me to come back to Him. He's as real to me as my family and friends and I wish I could share that with everyone.

12. Say 'no' to drugs.

13. Healing begins with forgiveness. I had and still have such a problem with healing because I was unable to forgive certain people from my past. I said that I forgave them, but I still hung on to what they did, because I thought that if I truly forgave them then I would lose all protection against preventing what they did to me from happening again.


Other Thursday Thirteen-ers

My piano arrived yesterday!!! I've been wanting to take piano lessons for years, but it wasn't till last Sunday that my mum and I went out and found a place where I could rent a piano for the next 5 months before I go back to uni.

Yesterday afternoon, four guys arrived and carried this piano down four flights of stairs into my room. I'm so thrilled. I had my first lesson this morning and it was awesome. It was a bit funny at times too, because my teacher speaks Chinese, and I speak very, very, very little Chinese. We had to resort to sign language a couple of times!

I'm gonna be practising the piano for hours everyday! There's just something about music that just soothes the soul and heart. Especially at times when you're overwhelmed by emotions but can't express yourself verbally.

My dad decided to spend a little Father/Daughter time today and he decided on gardening. At first I was all squeamish (I hate, Hate, HATE dirt, soil and anything dirty), but once I found out what he had in mind, I agreed.

Basically, he had some cuttings of basil (which were so fragrant and aromatic), and we had to poke holes into the soil with something (I think it was a screwdriver hahaha) and then place the cuttings into the holes. That is incredible!!! I can't believe that plants can grow like that.

It took about 10 minutes, and now I just have to wait for it to grow so that I can eat it with my pasta! How cool!

So first I lost all my comments when I switched to Haloscan, but luckily I managed to retrieve all of them back when I swapped back to Blogger. But now, I thought I'd be 'smart' and 'cool' and test out Blogger Beta. They have these new widgets that you can add onto the sidebar, and whilst messing around with that, I decided to try editing the html of my template.

What a great idea!!!

Now my old layout with the adorably cute bears is gone and I'm stuck with...this. *sigh sigh sigh* Saving the html of my old template doesn't seem to work in Blogger Beta because the coding is different. Funny how I read that but didn't really take that in.

Okay, I don't really know how many people read this, but I need help, so I'll carry on with this post. I have to submit a portfolio of my own 10 original artworks to this university that I'm applying to...but trouble is, I don't have a single piece yet. My deadline's in December.

Anyhow, I need help starting. So, please, my dear readers, tell me some interesting themes that I could work with. I've already thought of freedom and beginnings...but I need more! Help, help!!!

ARGH...I just switched from Blogger comments to Haloscan and somehow I managed to lose all my old comments!!!